My Top Ten Common Mistakes In Life Focus Group And How To Avoid Them

 My Top Ten Common Mistakes in Life Focus Group and How to Avoid Them

Every one makes a mistake in life, not one many. Without a mistake there is no life at all.  Often it is too late when we realize that we made a mistake. Some of us are so over confident about ourselves that we take decisions without analysis. Some say that if we keep analyzing everything you can’t make a decision at all. I don’t agree with either. You do need to sit down and think what could be the fall out of a decision.

In personal life too we make mistakes so many of them that as we approach we begin to think that if I get one more chance I would do it differently. But we never get another chance, we get only one and if that turns out to be a collection of mistakes then we might end up as an unhappy person. The best in my opinion is to forget it and keep the balance of your life happy. Don’t just brood over all the mistakes you made, if you do that then you will not be able to enjoy what is left, the balance of your life and that will be another big mistake again!

 

Another difficulty with mistakes, the mistake of mistakes is trying to advise some one else on not making the same mistake. That is awful, because, then, how will they learn? I once tried to advise some one on a mistake and that person replied “If I tried to avoid the mistakes every one else made then I probably can’t live life at all!” Yes, ok, I get it you can’t avoid all mistakes but you can avoid some of them to make your life better.

 

I thought that I would not advise anyone on a one to one basis that these are the mistakes people make and if you are careful with some of them you might be better of than who made more mistakes.

Focus Group

  I had a discussion with some experienced people and asked them, what are some mistakes they made in life and they think they could have avoided them. Interestingly many came up with a long list, a list longer than I expected and also very rich in variety. I then asked them to rate them on a scale based on the impact these mistakes had on their happiness in life.  The top ten mistakes I list below are shortlisted on the basis of the highest impact score assigned to these mistakes by the participants. 

 

We all know that life is full of checks and balances. As long as it is balanced between the two we have reasonable life. It is only when it tilts too far one way we lose in some other place. Losing some other place is not really a major consideration as long as    

we don’t begin to remorse about it. Ask any great man on his death bed there is no one that dies saying that he never made any mistake in his life. There are not many that don’t remorse either.  

 

 My Top Ten Common Mistakes Focus Group List

 

Investing in the wrong place

Marrying a wrong person

Taking up a wrong job

Trusting the wrong people

Living in wrong place

Comparing yourself with others

Eating the wrong food

Using time the wrong way

Listening to wrong advice

Losing faith in self

 

 

My Top Ten Common Mistakes Focus Group Discussion Summary

 

Investing in the Wrong Place

The main contributor to this mistake is our greed. Our desire to grow faster than what is possible. It is also our reckless attitude and indifference to information. Before you invest

make sure that you have a mix of the investments with various levels of risk. Change the risk that you take with age. You can take more risk when you are young and you have no dependents. You need to reduce the risk with age. I would not rule away stock market as a risky proposal. You need to shift to long term growth and return from the short term speculation you may have done earlier.    

 

Always investigate when someone is promising very abnormal returns. There is bound to be a problem in such investments. Many average families lost their life savings this way.

 

Marrying the wrong Person

 

Many people don’t distinguish between love and infatuation. Infatuation is very transient and happens when someone is I puberty and the hormones get active.  Marriage is a long term commitment. It needs adjusting, balancing and some sacrifice. Don’t marry because you are lonely and you need some company or because you want someone to cook and clean. You must marry because you want a family and you are ready to be a partner with someone 24 hours and 365 days for many years. Remember all girl friends can’t be wives nor all boyfriends can be husbands. Behaviors can change after marriage.  Therefore, you need to look for someone who is steady in behavior. It is also better if your spouse is a balancing   person and you accept that their balancing helps you. For example, if you get angry too fast it helps if your spouse can balance out and you accept that and make sure you give credit to that. There should be trust, cooperation and understanding between the two partners.

 

Taking up the wrong Job        

There can be no bigger mistake than a person taking up the profession and the wrong job imagine someone becoming a doctor when he hates seeing sick persons all day. A pilot must love flying and must not be afraid of high altitudes. But it is not as simple as that one must like the work environment and working conditions. This does not mean you stay unemployed till you find the ‘perfect job’.  You need to know your aptitude and shape yourself towards achieving high levels in it. This can avoid the agony of changing lines when it is too late. If you can spot your aptitude early you can excel due to experience 

 

 

  Trusting the Wrong People

 

Too many people get hurt by this   mistake and lose out in relations and in money matters. It can hurt emotionally.  If you trust too soon you can be taken advantage of. You need to maintain good relation but not invest your emotions or trust until you know for sure that the other person is an opportunist and is looking for some short term solution to some deeply hidden problem. Don’t make any commitments until you are absolutely sure and invite troubles. Make sure you have details and the right information.

 

Living in the Wrong Place 

 

It is always better that you live in a place that suits you and your personality. This becomes important as you get older. We need to remember the good old proverb that man cannot live by ‘bread alone’. You need friends. You need to be part of community that accepts you and you can feel integrated. The place you live must also suit your health, if you have specific health problems.  Be prepared to move if needed when you retire.

It is better, if you can, to make preparations for it while you are still working.

 

Comparing yourself with others

Bench marking is not good in personal life. It may help competitiveness, but it can also create discontentment and make people unhappy if you compare yourself with others. Admire the better ones and try and see if you want to improve in those areas. If you begin to compare and hate others strengths or positives pretty soon you can be consumed by jealousy and revenge which can take away your life from you. Recognize yourself and try to do the best.

 

Eating the Wrong Food

You must always eat the right food. Right food keeps the body and mind in coherence and synergy is produced. Food has no ethnic labeling; it has only nutritional labels as far as your body is concerned.  Taste is a matter of habit. Better not abuse the body with wrong food; at least don’t make it a habit.  Get the body used to a variety of foods. Train it to stay in limits.

 

Using the Time the Wrong Way 

Life is time bound. The sooner you find the right path the better you will do in life. Time is more valuable than money. Money lost can be earned again, but time that is lost cannot be regained.  Learn to think in terms of time.  Time that is taken away by doing things that don’t help is enormous. Identify the habits and activities that waste time and remedy them. For example, misplacing things and being less organized can waste time. Sleeping more than 6-7 hours can end up in losing one hour a day, 3650 hours in ten years, which is equal to about five months or one year in 24 years.  Imagine what we could have done with that one extra year!

 

Listening to Wrong advice

 

Unfortunately there are a lot of people who would like to give advice (including me).

But you need to learn to judge the source and its credibility. Things can take a bad shape if we listen to wrong advice in major areas like investments, job counseling, education and health.  The credibility of the source is important.  Always get more than one opinion in some important areas.  You must also do your own research. If these are organizations check out their history and credibility

 

Losing Faith in Yourself       

 

Positive thinking and faith in your own self are very essential in life. But positive thinking does not mean over stretching your capabilities. Obviously, you can’t swim if you did not learn swimming by thinking positively. Positive thinking helps you prevent underestimating your competence and capability in achieving a meaningful goal.

Imagine trying to serve in tennis court with the doubt in your mind that it could be out, it surely will be out. Or, imagine your addressing an audience thinking that you may not be interesting; you are most likely to fail. 

Prepare well to perform an act and carry it out with the thinking that you can do it. Most very successful persons in any profession are successful because they are faith in themselves, which bring success which in turn adds to their faith. Faith and loss of faith are cumulative in their effect.